Domestic Abuse | Single Moms Coach

How to Overcome Hardship

January 25, 2011

Over the past 2 months I have received countless emails from women (most of them single moms) sharing with me in detail their personal stories and what they are currently struggling with. I’ll be honest that my heart went out to them. I could feel their pain. I understood where they were coming from and all they really wanted was someone to understand their sense desperation. Read more

The Solution to Raising Happy and Healthy Children

October 14, 2010

If your children are stressed, unhappy or acting out, there is something wrong.  Children have such an amazing ability to express their emotions exactly as they feel them.  So it is safe to say that if they are acting unhappy or depressed then they probably are. If they are hitting, yelling or throwing, they are probably angry.

Experiencing emotions is normal. That is part of the human journey. However, the consistent experience of  negative emotions  could be signaling a deeper issue.

Read more

Need your input on this survey regarding abuse!

June 22, 2010

I am currently building a live course for single mothers (single parents) who became singleHealing abuse
parents as a result of domestic abuse. I would love to build this course around your specific needs and not just base it on my own experience and knowledge. I have received many emails with a request for this type of course and I need your help to make sure that it meets your exact needs!

Please take a few minutes to fill out this survey and when you are done, you will be taken to a free gift from me as a thank you for your time and energy!

Click here to take survey

How To Release Resentment

May 30, 2010

Blaming others and holding on to anger and resentment will only create toxicity throughout your entire life. As difficult as it may seem sometimes, make it a goal to release others from how they have caused you pain. The more you genuinely release, the more open you become to receive God’s greatest blessings. Read more

Need Your Input!

April 10, 2010

I am tossing around a few ideas for coaching programs and products that will serve single moms AND are affordable. However, I need direct feedback from single moms so that I can do this. I don’t want to waste time (don’t like to do that).

You are not committing to anything. I just need some honest thoughts from single moms. I appreciate all of your help.

Follow the link below to complete my short 3 question survey!

Click here to take survey

Thank YOU for your help in this!


Marilyn

Becoming A Single Mom as a Result of Domestic Abuse: Solutions for Establishing a New Life

November 14, 2009

Being a single mom can be challenging and difficult. However, being a single mother as a result of having been exposed to domestic violence can have serious effects on the mother and the children. I first want to point out that domestic violence is not confined to physical abuse and many people still believe that to be true. Domestic violence can be silent; it can fill an entire house; it can be mental and emotional and it may never involve any physical contact. It can be one incident or a series of abusive moments.

The effects of domestic violence run deep and many mothers find themselves facing a future of uncertainty. This uncertainty can create a lot of fear seeing as they never married to get divorced and become a single mother. Before I go any further in this article, if you believe that you are in an abusive relationship or have been in an abusive relationship, seek support immediately. I also recommend reading the book ‘Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men’ by Lundy Bancroft. I will refer to some of his work in this article.

Becoming a single mother after having experienced abuse will create a roller coaster of emotions that you will have to navigate through, sort out, heal and resolve. The reality is that as a single mother that is one of your primary responsibilities and doing so will enbable you to be loving and present to your child or children.

I want to make a point that you are not bad for making the choice to be a single mother or for having been in an abusive relationship. On the contrary, you are a hero for taking your wellbeing and your child’s wellbeing into your hands. You have a legal and moral responsibility to protect your children emotionally, mentally and physically. Your role here is to look deeply inside yourself and learn why you made the choices you made in the past, what led you to make those choices, and adopt new values and core beliefs that you can put into practice so that you can feel confident in asserting yourself when it comes to making healthy choices for yourself and that of your children.

Lundy Bancroft outlines in his book ‘When Dad Hurts Mom’ 4 key points that will help any mother organize herself and commit to a healthy and happy lifestyle. I am including them here as part of the solution to getting your life successfully on track as a single mother.

1. Your situation is unique.

2. Long-term planning is important.

3. Your own well-being is an important factor.

4. An abuse-free life is possible.

In establishing yourself as a single mother and breaking free from the chains of domestic abuse, you will have the opportunity to find who you truly are as you heal yourself and make plans for a new future. In addition to the key points made by Lundy Bancroft, I am offering a step-by-step solution plan to healing the effects of abuse in your life and taking control of your future.

1. Seek support from family, friends, counselors, etc. Make sure you are surrounded by people that will support YOU and help you to find solutions.

2. Invest time in healing yourself. In order to make positive changes, you will need to look at the effects the abuse has had on you and your children. Leaving the abusive situation is only a portion of freeing yourself. The rest of your freedom lies within you. Healing can occur and so can emotional freedom.

3. Take your time. There is no hurry in getting better immediately. The truth is that the effects of the abuse will take time to heal. It will take time for you to unplug from the patterns of abuse in your life.

4. Pray and meditate. You need to find quiet time (even if for 5 minutes) to center yourself and breathe.

5. Reach out to the community and those you know for support in financial planning, child care and other basic needs that are now a part of your life and your responsibility.

6. Create a vision. Make a plan for your future. What do you want to experience? Make a detailed list of how you will create it and gather the support you need to meet your goals successfully.

7. Be patient. Everything has a time and a place and part of this new role as a single mother is to learn how to let go of control so that God can work in your life. Once you are in a safe place, you can begin to let go and know that you truly are taken care of.

It is entirely possible to live a joyous and successful life after having experienced domestic violence. Your commitment to changing your life for the better is the most important factor when it comes to making changes. From that commitment you will find the strength and the courage to take leaps of faith, heal and strengthen yourself and create the extraordinary life you are meant to have.

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